Baggage
by Bring Me Chili Fries
Summary: Gwen finds Kevin alone at night and tries to help him overcome his personal struggles. Rated T for depression.


**Note: This takes place in a similar timeline to Omniverse, but without all the retcons introduced in the Rooters arc.**

 **P.S: Sorry about the lackluster title and for the presumably lackluster story.**

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Kevin sat near the edge of a rock positioned three feet above a small lake, surrounded by trees in every direction, with his car parked not too far away. With his legs crossed and a somber look plastered on his face, he looked up at the night sky, lost in his thoughts. Other than the splashing of the water and the occasional chirping of crickets, there was not a sound to be heard, at least until he heard an all-too familiar 'click-clack' sound. It was faint at first, but got louder and faster, at which point he heard her voice.

"Kevin?", she said, her voice full of worry. He didn't answer. He knew Gwen would have found him eventually. She knew this place as well as he did. It was where they went on their first date after moving away from Bellwood. It was special to them. It always reminded them of the new life they started away from her world-famous cousin and the daily alien attacks. It was one of the two reasons they came back here often, the other being it reminded her of her grandfather's cove back home, where she met her grandmother for the first time more than a year ago.

"Kevin?", she repeated, now nearly on the verge of tears. After calling his cell phone many times to no avail, she had spent the better part of an hour panicking, searching all over town for him, and if anything, his current silence was making her panic even more.

Once it was clear he was not going to reply, she ran up to him and sat to his left. He didn't acknowledge her presence; not in any way that showed, at least. He simply stared at the sky above them both, not knowing how to say what he wanted to say or where to start.

"Babe, what's wrong?", she said calmly as she put a hand on his shoulder, yet she was as confused and worried as she could possibly be.

"It's nothin'. It- It's stupid. Let's just leave.", he replied rather unconvincingly.

"No, it's _not_ nothing. Kevin, you missed all my calls today and I can see that look on your face. I know something's bothering you. I hate seeing you like this. Please, let me help you. You know you can tell me anything." She leaned closer towards him in an attempt to comfort him.

He finally met her gaze and broke the silence, his voice croaky and strained. "I should've never been born." She withdrew her hand from his shoulder in shock and her heart sank, breaking into a million pieces. "What... why?"

He saw the look on her face and regretted ever saying anything. He hated seeing her worry about him. She had a bunch of other, more important things to prioritize. He didn't want to make things more complicated for her.

He hung his head, keeping his gaze fixated on her eyes. "I was stupid to think I could ever have the life I always wanted. No matter how much I try to move on, I'm always reminded that I'm nothin' but a good-for-nothing screw-up."

Gwen took his hands in hers, lightly caressing them with her thumbs. "No, you're not. Don't say that. You've done a lot of good for the world _and_ the universe. We would have never stopped the Highbreed invasion without you, and you hadn't put your sanity on the line, we wouldn't have stopped Aggregor. Not to mention all you've done for Ben... and me. Kevin, you changed my life. Six years ago, I would've never imagined even fighting by your side and look how far we've come, how far _you've_ come. You turned into the funniest, sweetest and most loyal man I know from that troubled young boy. Yes, you've done things in the past that you're not proud of, but what matters is you learned from your mistakes and changed for the better. Don't let your past remind you of your mistakes. Let it remind you of all the good you've done in spite of them."

She smiled at him, but it just made him feel guilty. This girl had the purest of hearts and always did everything in her power to make everyone around her happy, especially him, and yet, he felt that he didn't deserve her kindness. An ex-con as messed up as he was could never and should never deserve the love of someone that perfect.

Gwen's smile turned into a frown as Kevin gently removed his hands from hers. "No, Gwen. You don't get it. All the good stuff I've done doesn't change the fact that people would be better off if I was never born. Kwarrel and Labrid would both be alive and my mom would probably have a better kid than I could ever be. Ben wouldn't have someone who used to want to _kill him_ as his best friend, and you... you..." He felt a lump form in his throat as he uttered his next words. "You'd be with someone else, someone better."

Startled and hurt, tears welled up in Gwen's eyes, not just because he thought she didn't want to be with him by choice, but also because she wanted to help but she wasn't quite sure how to do it. Since he had very rarely opened up about his depression, she had never seen him like this before.

She held his chin with her hand, lifting up his head. "Kevin, I _love_ you. I'm with you because I _want_ to be with you. I'd never want to be with anyone else but _you_ , because there's nobody out there who's better for me than you are. No one would be able to force me to love anyone else, not even my parents."

Still holding his chin with her hand, she tried to shuffle closer to him, but he shifted his body slightly, creating more space between them. "Your parents hate me, Gwen. Your dad thinks I'm still a criminal and your mom doesn't like that I'm not normal. You saw how they looked when we left Bellwood. They don't trust or like me. They want you to be with someone who's actually worth your time. Someone who's as smart as you. Someone without emotional baggage or a criminal past."

They never really had conversations about her parents because it was never an easy topic to bring up, which made talking about it now all the more challenging. "They'll come around. Give it time. Mom knows what it's like to have disapproving parents, and Dad's just being over-protective. For what it's worth, Ken likes you. So does Grandpa. He's told me time and time again that you're a keeper, not that I needed any reassurance on that. He said your dad would be proud of you." At the mention of his dad, Kevin's eyes widened.

"Kevin, you're worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. Kwarrel and Labrid gave up their lives to save you because they saw something in you, and they were right! You've done bad things in the past, but they don't matter anymore." She pressed a finger against his chest. "I love you for who you are now."

She wished she could just hold him in her arms and tell him, show him somehow, that she loved him to bits, but at the moment, it didn't seem like he'd take her at her word.

"Remember what happened after we hacked Ben's old Omnitrix? Remember the way I treated you after I turned into a monster? How I kissed Charmcaster and how much of a jerk I was to you 'cause I thought you didn't care about turnin' me human again?"

Gwen nodded silently.

"And then I found that you were spendin' your nights trying to find a way to do just that. You even went back in time even though Paradox told you that you'd screw things up. You risked it all for me! That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I didn't deserve any of that." He could feel himself slipping. His emotions were taking control of him and it secretly scared him.

That period in their lives was difficult for both of them. For one, they had only just started dating, so they were trying to figure out how to make their relationship work. Once Kevin got mutated, things became much more complicated. He was already depressed and self-conscious to a degree, but being turned into an amalgam of different materials took things up to an 11, taking an enormous toll on his mental health and causing him to have uncontrollable bouts of anger. Above all, it made him believe that he was an ugly freak. All of that put together made him argue with Gwen more often than either of them would have liked.

Gwen, on the other hand, absolutely hated seeing him suffer, so she spent her nights going through every spellbook she had so that she could find a way to turn him back to normal, giving up time that she would have otherwise used to study or sleep. At the time, she had yet to admit to even herself that she loved him, but by the end of the whole ordeal, she knew that she loved him a lot more than she could comprehend.

"Whatever happened back then wasn't all your fault. I should've told you that I was working to help you. I should've been honest. Besides, after all you went through as a kid, I don't think I can blame you for getting depressed and angry when it happened." Gwen cupped his cheeks with her hands. "But.. But we got through it together, didn't we? Doesn't that say something about us? Doesn't the fact that I did all that stuff show you that I'd do _anything_ for you?"

Kevin bit his lower lip as tears began to roll down his face. He quickly wiped them away, not wanting to show Gwen how vulnerable he felt even though he knew she would never hold it against him. "What- What about when I absorbed your mana after I touched the Ultimatrix? I hurt you, Gwen. What's worse, I _enjoyed_ it. I wanted more. I wanted to hurt you, just because of how good your mana made me feel."

His voice cracked. "I hate that I ever laid a finger on you like that! I was a disgusting piece of trash! Why would you ever want to be with someone like this?"

Gwen brushed her thumb over his face, wiping his some of his tears away. "Babe, you know that wasn't you! _You_ tried to stay away from me to protect me. The power took over you. It was messing with your head. You weren't in control. You didn't do anything to hurt me. All that stuff you said and did, it was the power."

He clenched his fists, trying to keep himself in-check. Talking about his feelings was a foreign concept to him, and it was making something inside him build up. He didn't like it one bit. "Gwen, I- I love you. You're the best thing that has ever... _ever_ happened to me. I know you love me too, but if- if you knew what I've seen and done, what I've been through, you'd wanna stay away from me."

He shuddered. "I have nightmares _every_ night to remind me of my time in the Null Void. That- That place ain't pretty, especially not for a kid. I had to do terrible things just to get by. I... ugh!" He slammed his fist on the ground, raising his voice. "I _hate_ myself! I hate myself _so much._ Not a day goes by where I don't think everyone would be happier without me. I'm nothin' but a stupid freak; an idiot foolin' himself into thinkin' he can have the perfect life one day. I'm not worth it. I never was and I never will be. Ben shoulda killed me when- "

Gwen slapped him across the face, startling him. She didn't know what else to do. She knew she just needed to knock (or in this case, slap) some sense into him. His cheeks reddened, both from the physical pain and the embarrassment. He felt an odd mixture of shame, shock and sadness and froze in place, not even flinching when Gwen tightly enveloped him in her arms. "Oh, babe. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Her lips crashed onto his, kissing him with as much fervor as she could muster. Neither of them knew what exactly they were supposed to feel. There were too many emotions swirling around and no words to express them. All they knew was it felt... right. It was like the entire universe disappeared around them and they were the only people left.

After what seemed like eternity, Gwen slowly and reluctantly pulled away from the kiss for air, opening her eyes but keeping her arms around him. Kevin kept his closed for a few more seconds, gritting his teeth. Before he knew it, he was a sobbing mess, his body shaking almost violently. He buried his face in her chest, clinging on to her. He usually hated exposing himself like this, especially in front of her, but right now, he didn't care how pathetic he looked. He longed for comfort, for solace.

"It's okay, Kevin. Let it all out. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." She held him as close to her as she could, moving one hand up and down his back to soothe him. "I love you so, so much." Judging by the amount of tears soaking her clothes, he had been bottling up a lot of heavy emotions for far too long, which just broke her heart even further.

She spent minutes silently embracing him as he cried everything out, never once loosening her grip on him. Even after he went quiet, their bodies remained joined, neither of them uttering a word.

It seemed like hours before Kevin finally withdrew his head from Gwen's chest, though her arms stayed around his body, not moving an inch. His eyes were red and he looked like a mess, but he managed to let out a small chuckle. "I'm sorry, baby."

"You have nothing to apologize for, you hear me? Nothing. _I'm_ the one who's sorry. I should have known you were struggling. I can't believe I never noticed you were suffering in silence all this time.", she replied, her head moving closer to his.

"I wanted it that way. It's just that I never wanted you to worry about me. You got a lot to deal with as it is, y'know? My problems ain't worth your time. Why do you think I came here to think instead of tellin' you about 'em?", he admitted.

"Kevin, you're the most important thing in my life! Helping you with your problems transcends everything else that I have to deal with. Crime-fighting and college are nowhere near as important as you are to me. I love you, okay? I want you to know that." She wiped some of the stray tears that remained on his face.

She intertwined her fingers with his. "And I want you to promise me something. Any time you feel useless or alone or unloved or if you're just having a bad day, talk to me. Doesn't matter what time of day it is or what I'm doing. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure you know I love you. I want you to know that I will _always_ love you no matter what you think about yourself, and you're worth much more than you think."

"I... I promise I'll try." He smiled, and she smiled back. "That's all I ask."

"Oh, and Gwen?", he asked.

"Yeah?"

He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, pulling her in for a kiss. She was shocked at first, but fully immersed herself into the experience, pushing herself deeper onto Kevin's soft lips. Their tongues danced around, so much so that neither of them knew where one mouth ended and the other began.

After the need for air arose, Kevin reluctantly pulled away, then looked into Gwen's hypnotizing green eyes.

"Thank you. For everything."

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 **Yeah, I'm sorry you had to read that mess.**


End file.
